Storytime Saturday: Eggs

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I want to tell you a story about how I quit eggs*.

All three times.

The first time was in middle school and a girl thought it would be interesting to bring a bloody egg in. Her mom had been making scrambled eggs and when she cracked the egg into the bowl it was bloody and gross. So of course, you bring that in to school to gross out all of the other kids and have the teacher explain it all.

I didn't eat eggs for about 6-8 months after that.

The second time was in 9th grade and somehow one of the funniest things to tell people became "Did you know that an egg is a chicken's period?" I imagine it was funny because by that time all of the girls were dealing with their periods and in an Idaho town with only 2,500 people, the jokes were most likely scarce. So this was the thing to tell people, and it was the thing to keep me from eating eggs.

I didn't eat eggs for about 2 years.

We moved to Florida before my junior year and maybe about a year or so after we moved, my parents decided it was a good idea to have chickens. I was fine with the chickens, but kind of leery about the eggs since the incident in middle school. Then one day it all changed. My dad brought in an egg that a chicken had just produced. He told me to hold out my hand and when I did he plopped the warm egg into it. The egg was warm. Not warm from the sun, but warm in a way that said THIS JUST CAME FROM A CHICKEN'S INNARDS, CAN'T YOU FEEL THE WARMTH?!

I didn't eat eggs for 3 years.

Despite my on and off relationship with eggs, I'm pretty okay with eating them now. I have weird feelings about most foods and usually make up stories that allow me to stomach them (for example: chicken comes from the chicken tree, eggs from the egg tree, and ground beef is harvested like potatoes). I have lots of issues with food if you can't tell (and don't even get me started on my specific silverware, cups, bowls, and knives that I use, I'm more neurotic about those kinds of things than Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory).



*I should note that when I say I quit eggs and didn't eat them, that doesn't include eggs that were used in recipes or cooked in foods without my knowledge. My body was fine with eggs as long as I didn't know they were there, but if I did smell or eat eggs by themselves I gagged.